The Misadventures of Plane Jane and Toaster Waffle (3)

Installment numero three.


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I was still in my daze when we got to Toast’s house. He technically lived in a different town, but the school system was better than the one that he was supposed to be in so his parents paid the out of district fee. Toaster lived in a very nice neighborhood on the edge of the two towns. His dad was in the oil business so they were really comfortable. I always wanted to live in Toaster’s house. It was a big almost plantation style house set on three acres of land. It sat on top of a little hill with tall pine trees surrounding it. A few yard to the right was a cute little guest house that was a one story version of the main house. Wart used to live in it until Mrs. Appleton kicked him out and made him get a job or something. Wart doesn’t come home that often.

I pulled up their driveway which was more of a tiny street and parked near the garage. When we got out Mrs. Appleton was right there ready to greet us. She always heard my car driving up. It was a loud little car but it was all my own.

“Jane dear, your mother called me awhile ago and told me that you might be headed here.”

Leave it to good ol’ mom to tattle on me.

“I hope you don’t mind Mrs. Appleton,” I said getting out of the car. “I just need to blow off some steam before tonight.”

“That’s okay dear you know you are always welcome here with or without James being here.”

“Thanks.  You remember Charlie?”

“Of course I do. How are you Charles?”

“I’m fine Mrs. Appleton, and you?”

“Good, good. I trust all is well with your family?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Haven’t seen your father in the papers lately? Nothing exciting going on?”

“Um, he’s on a personal vacation in St. Bart’s right now, so no, he wouldn’t be in the papers right now.”

Charles’s dad was a politician of the highest in Texas, not the Governor, but a representative for the district and a Republican one too. Surprisingly the man embraced his gay son when Charlie came out sophomore year and became a ‘radical’ Republican, so when Charlie came out, he didn’t just come out to his family, but also the whole state of Texas. So if you saw Charlie you knew who he was and you we’re not to make fun of him.

“Well you guys have fun. I’ll be down with snacks for you guys later.”

“Thanks mom.”

“Oh and James,” his mother called after us.

“Yes?”

“Could I have a word with you real quick?”

“I’ll be down in sec guys.”

Toast disappeared and Charlie and I hit the video games. I was an exceptionally good gamer. For a girl as Toast would kindly add. I was the only girl gamer it seemed in the entire school district and I was at odds for that. I didn’t care because I could whip your ass at any first person shooter game you threw at me regardless of your sexual orientation.

I was in the middle of kicking Charlie’s ass when Viper appeared through the basement window.

“Hey Viper,” I yelled over the T.V.

“Hey, what are you guys playing?”

“Some new game Toast got. Wanna hop in?”

“No thanks.”

He went to the corner and smoked his daily joint and ignored us until his high was over.

Toaster came down right after Viper got situated. He looked awful.

I paused the game.

“What’s the matter with you?” I asked.

“My mother is setting me up on a blind date tonight. Apparently she thinks I need more female companionship in my life.”

“What does she think I am?”

“I know that’s what I said.”

“And?”

“She said that there’s more to life than just you Jane.”

“What the fuck?! You can’t get better than me! I’m the best female companion in the world!”

“Yeah, but you also won’t date my sorry ass. That’s what she’s trying to get at.”

“Oh. Well I’m sorry she screwed up your last date and deemed you un-dateable by default.”

“Touche.”

“Well who is your lovely date for the evening?” Charlie asked.

“Some chick who’s daddy works with my dad. She’s in town for the night and they want me to show her around.”

“How are you going to do that? You don’t have car let alone you don’t even drive.”

“I know. I was hoping that you could take us, Jane.”

“Dude you KNOW I can’t do that. I have that stupid dinner thing tonight.”

“But I was hoping you’d pull one of your famous disappearing acts and help your friend get laid tonight.”

“Toast you saw my mom. I can’t do that tonight. Get laid some other night with one of your internet booty calls.”

Toaster had an illustrious love life online. So did I, but not as successful as his. Girls would flock to our little patch of hell just for him or he would go to them and his mother had no clue.

“Come on Jane. You know you don’t want to get hit up by that awful Milton kid again.”

“Yeah I know, but…”

“I’ll be your date Jane.”