The Misadventures of Plane Jane and Toaster Waffle (2)

 The second installment.


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It was the best news I’ve heard all day, all year in fact. Toast and I used to follow what is now called the Painted Glass all the time. If they were playing within 1000 mile radius we would go. It started in eighth grade and my brother started listening to them. I became completely infatuated with them. Their music just spoke to me in a way that I could never imagine. Of course I had to tell Toast about them and he felt the same way. So when I found out that my brother was going to see them one night I told him that I HAD to go otherwise I would die.

“I kind of figured that Jane. So I got you and the Toastman tickets too.”

“Really?!” I gave him a death grip hug. “I’ve never loved you this much Reginald Alan Smith!”

“I love you too Mary Jane Katherine Smith. Now go grab Toast before I change my mind.”

“You better not!”

“I won’t. Now go!”

The bell rang for third period and I was free of Pre-Cal for the rest of the day. First and second period were the only classes Toast and I didn’t have together. So third was our reunion period with the addition of Charlie and Viper.

“Hey guys. Did Toast tell you the news?”

“Ooo,” Charlie started. “What happened? Did you two decide to finally hook up? Because all this sexual tension between you two needs to come to a halt or something.”

“Heavens no Charlie,” I protested. “Toast is my one and only teddy bear, but he’s also like my brother and I wouldn’t do anything like that with my brother.”

“Way to make a guy feel good about himself Jane.” Toast added.

“Sorry, but don’t tell me you feel like that too?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Anyways, news?” Viper chimed in.

“Oh yeah, so Wart got me and Toaster here tickets to see the Painted Glass!”

“Cool,” Charlie said.

“That lame band?”

“Viper hush.” Charlie looked at me. “You okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because of what happened last time you went to a Painted Glass show.”

“Oh that. Nah I’m fine. “

“Oh, Christ Jane! I can’t believe I forgot! Some best friend I am.”

“Toast it’s okay. He would want us to go and rock out and have fun like always.”

“Um,” Viper interrupted, “excuse me for being out of some loop, but what exactly happened?”

I looked at him. I never really had to explain it to anyone before. Everyone just knew so there was no need for this, but Viper was a transfer student from the West coast and he was just here for his senior year.

“My brother, the one who got me and Toast hooked on them, was killed right after a show of theirs last year.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. It was some drunken idiot who thought he was all righteous and whatnot. He picked a fight with Reggie and gave him a blow to the head that wasn’t too friendly. He died in my arms.”

Everyone was silent.

“Well this will be a memorial concert for him,” Toaster piped up. He was choking back tears. He was there too that night. Reggie was fighting in defense of what the stupid guy said about Toast. Reggie loved Toast. He was like the little brother he never had.

“Most definitely,” I said, “most definitely.”

Class started and yet again Viper picked a fight with the teacher so nothing was taught or learned. Except we did find out that our French teacher wasn’t as French as everyone thought.  Fourth was just as boring as any history class is. I couldn’t wait for it to end so I can enjoy my favorite part of the day, hanging out in the library for the rest of the day. Since I was a senior and already had the majority of my academic classes out of the way, I could either take electives the rest of the day or just have half a day of school. Toast, Charlie, and I chose electives and that elective was Library Science. Viper still had a ways to go. We didn’t think he was going to graduate with us.

I loved being in the library. The only thing I didn’t like was that my mom was the school librarian. You know those librarians that don’t like you to do anything but be quiet find your book and get out? Yeah that was my mom. At lunchtime she’d let us talk, but the remainder of the day we were bound to her no noise policy. Luckily we were one of the schools in town that had access to anything on line and had our own chat system. I didn’t know how other kids in the city felt who didn’t have that pleasure.

“Hi kids,” my mother greeted us.

“Hello, Mrs. Smith and might I say how lovely you look today?”

Toast had always fancied my mom.

“Thank you, James. Mary Jane?”

I hated when she used my full name.

“Yeah mom?”

“We’re going over to the McDonnells tonight so no escaping to James’s after school.”

“Why on earth are we going over there? You know Margret has it in for me and brother is a pervert who tries to get me and fails.”

She gave me her “Yeah right Jane” look and continued.

“Well your father has some business to do with Michael and Janice wanted us all to get together for dinner.”

“I don’t see why I have to go?”

“It would be nice to see you get some fresh air and besides you need a break from your normal routine, no offense James.”

“None taken.”

“I still don’t see. Plus if Reggie were here you wouldn’t make him go and he’d take me with him.”

My mother tightened up.

“Mary Jane Katherine Smith you are going and that’s it. Now there’s a new outfit in your closet and you’re wearing it no matter how many times you protest.”

“Good goin’ Jane,” Charlie mumbled.

Mom shot a glance at Charlie then looked over all of us.

“I think you three need to go home this afternoon. I can take care of things here myself.”

“Fine.”

We left and headed over to Toast’s house. I took the long scenic route to cool some steam off.

“Apparently Macy Duncan was in the library when that stuff happened and Viper heard wind of it.” Charlie informed. “He just texted me saying he’ll be over in an hour.”

“Tell him to go in the back way.  My mom’s home and she’s still not that fond of Viper.”

Viper wasn’t really Mrs. Appleton’s kind of person. Viper had the mixed appearance of a guy, who was in Hell’s Angels, back in the day when they were a major threat, and a member of the Sex Pistols, but he was a sweetheart of a guy and gay to top it off. Which was why he was around, he had a mad crush on Charlie, but Charlie being the little flamboyant fruitcake that he is was oblivious to Viper’s crush and thought he was around for me.

We were an odd foursome, the odd, but happy-go-lucky pudgy guy, the flamboyant gay, the closeted Punk guy, and me, Plane Jane in the flesh, but we worked. We were our own brand of a misfit crew. I loved being around them. They made me feel like I belonged. They made me feel like me.
We grew up in the most beautiful part of Texas and I loved driving around on the back roads. The trees were at their prettiest, the grass was still green and not dead from the awful Texas heat, and the weather was just perfect before the hell that was a Texas summer came rolling in. Cows and horses were in there rightful pastures and all was right in the world when I drove those back roads that I loved.