BloodLust (5)

Chapter Five



“Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I am and will forever be completely and utterly in love with you. Will you please do me the honor of being my wife?”

Was he joking? Did he seriously want to marry me? What did I have to offer? Sure we loved each other, but in retrospect this was too fast. There was nothing more I wanted than to be with him, but there was something in my being that didn’t want this to happen. Not yet. Soon, but not yet.

I looked around at all the faces of my beloved friends and family. Majority of them looked eager for my answer. Probably wishing for it to be yes, but there was one face that looked concerned. It was the face that I depended on the most and its uncertainty had me worried.
I then turned to my beloved Jacob. I looked in his dark eager eyes. I could see that he wanted this more than anything he had ever wanted. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. Believe me that was the very last thing I wanted to and if possible not at all. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of the horrific dream that has set some sort of mental boundary in me.

“Nessie?”

His voice pulled me from my thoughts.

What’s the worst that could happen?

__________________________________________________________________

The wedding took place in less than a month from that night, and it was the most wonderful night of my life. I know everything happened so fast, but we couldn’t wait for some reason. All my thoughts and worries were virtually gone in our very short engagement. The ladies of the two families took over everything with Aunt Alice in charge. Mom even got involved which was a surprise because she usually didn’t care for this kind of stuff, but I guess since I was her only child she wanted to make it special for me in her own way.
Jacob and mine’s union would be the first of its kind that we knew of. Kind of like my parents, but we were different. Our union would symbolize more than our love but also the coming together of two rivals who now lived in peace. You’d think it would have been frowned upon, but no. Everyone was excited. Even Aunt Rose, who I think still despises Jake for something that happened what seemed like forever ago. I still don’t know what it is but everyone assures me that it was irrelevant. I wish they didn’t keep things from me.
It was getting very tiresome.

The night before the event my mother came into my room. Probably to give me the stereotypical mother of the bride speech to warn me of what was to happen the next night, but I had a pretty good idea of what was to come. She entered quietly and came to sit next to me on my bed. She took me into her arms and we sat there like we did when I was little. The silence between us was comforting to the noise about not having a bachelorette party coming from my aunts and my maid of honor.

After awhile we repositioned ourselves and she turned me towards her.

“Renesmee, are you excited?”

“I think I am. I have this feeling in my stomach that won’t go away. Is that normal?”

“Yes sweetie, unfortunately it is.”

“Great.”

She laughed.

It was good to hear her laugh. She had a great laugh. It showed her true, happy self when she laughed.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean I want you to be happy more than anything in the world, but are you really ready for this big a step in your life?”

Then she went back to being my overprotective mother.

“You know mom, I am. When he first asked me I really wasn’t sure, but I looked into his eyes and I felt this calm like everything was going to be alright. That this was right.”

She looked at me and smiled.

“Good.”

She gave me one last hug and then left.

I couldn’t help but to feel like she was trying to get at something more than what she was asking me. The whole conversation felt weird and not us.

I decided to get some sleep. The big day was in less than twelve hours and the pre-wedding jitters were setting in.

I awoke the next day to Alice and her equipment ready to work their magic on me. First she did my hair. She didn’t go as elaborate as I thought she would with it, but it was still beautiful. She left my curly brown locks down and pinned some things in it to make it accent my dress.

“I love you, Nessie! You’re so much easier to deal with than your mom was.”
With that she gave a glance at mom. Mom gave a look back. I couldn’t really see because Alice finishing up my hair with what seemed like a whole can of hairspray.

“There.”

She then turned me to the mirror and I saw myself. I thought it was a different person at first. I didn’t recognize the person that was in the mirror. I didn’t even have on the dress and I was completely flabbergasted at the way I looked.

It made me feel a little vain that I didn’t want to leave the sight of me at the mirror, but my persistent aunt wanted to put me in the dress that she had sent over from Europe just for me. So I stepped out of my clothes and into the dress. It looked like it would weigh a ton, but it didn’t. Once it was zipped and adjusted Alice took me to the full length mirror to look at the finished product. I looked up at myself and saw someone other than myself.

The dress was a long, ruffled strapless cream colored one. The bodice had an intricate beaded design on in and tied in the back while the skirt came out a lot but not too much. It had at least three petticoats under it. I looked like a Victorian age doll. I opted out of a veil. I thought they were too much and a nuisance. When I came out of my little world I looked in the mirror and saw behind me my mother and father. Aunt Alice must have snuck out to give me a moment alone with my parents.

Mom had tears in her eyes and a look that said she didn’t want me to go, but she was happy for me at the same time. Dad just looked at me with all the love he had to give me. I walked towards my mother and wiped a stray tear that was streaming down her cheek. I think she didn’t realize that she was crying until I had done that. She then took the hand that was on her cheek and placed in her own and gave it a light squeeze.

“You look so beautiful sweetie,” she said with her voice quivering.

“Oh, Momma.”

That phrase turned on the waterworks that rarely happened with her. I haven’t called her that since I was little, and I knew that meant a lot to her. I took her in my arms and gave her a hug.

“You aren’t going to lose me. I’ll always be here. Jake will take good care of me and you know it. Okay?”

“I know,” she said through the tears.

Then I felt Dad embrace the both of us.

We stayed there awhile taking in the moment.

“Well I better go downstairs,” Mom said as she broke the hold, “I’ll see you two downstairs.”

As she left and closed the door behind her, I turned to my father and the right before the ceremony jitters set in. Now was the time that I had to find out what was going on in that mysterious place that is my father’s head. I knew I should have asked before all of this had happened, but for some reason I had to know now. Right before I walked down those stairs to see the man that I loved so much and to marry him in front of all the people that we knew and cared for.

I placed my hand on his face and showed him my memory of the look on his face that night.

“What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that this wasn’t the best idea for right now.”

“Well then why did you give him permission? I know you did because right before it happened I heard Jacob talking to Alice and he said you and mom gave your permission to ask me.”

“I gave him my consent because I saw what Alice saw. She saw the two of you happier than you would have ever been. It was you being happy that made me say yes. That’s the only thing in the world that I want you to be. Believe me that’s all I want for you.”

“Then why not now?”

“You are still so young, Renesmee, I wanted you to do so many more things before settling down.”

“I don’t plan to settle down anytime soon. Marry Jake, yes. But settle down...,” I shook my head. “Besides I’m still going to do all the things I want to do, but with Jake. Plus, Mom married you when she hadn’t had that much done either, and she’s still doing all the things she’s wanted to do and with you. If you guys can do it, Jake and I certainly can.”

“True.”

He sighed and then looked at me.

“How do I look?” I asked with a little pride as I stepped back and did a twirl.

“Beautiful. Are you ready now? I think they’re getting antsy downstairs.”

I took a deep breath and grabbed my father’s arm.

“Yes, I am.”